


My North Star

by Alex_mvl



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Birthday, Dead Peter Parker, Death, Depression, Homeless Peter Parker, Hurt Tony Stark, One Shot, Sad, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Whump, graveyard, hero - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-06
Updated: 2019-08-06
Packaged: 2020-08-10 20:30:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,141
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20141545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alex_mvl/pseuds/Alex_mvl
Summary: It´s Peter´s 18th birthday, so Tony visits his grave.(some sad talk)





	My North Star

The moon shines on the tombstone in the middle of the night. It is the first time it’s not loud in New York, the only sounds are the wind and Tony, crying, not loud but it still breaks the peaceful silence. It is the 10th of August, an important date for him.

Right in front of him a grave. He takes a step forward and smoothly touches the name that is engraved there.

_Peter Benjamin Parker._  
_*August 10, 1993_  
_†December 14, 2010_  
_Loving student, friend and son_

“Hey kid” he starts softly, taking a deep breath and then continuing.

“I know what you would say, that it’s nothing important and that I should go back home again but it is your 18th birthday today. Congratulations, Peter Benjamin Parker, you are an old man now.”  
He chuckles to himself in brief.

“You wouldn’t believe it, but I made a cake, blue dough and a little bit red on top, and you should have seen Pepper’s reaction. The first thing she told me is to just use it as decoration because this blue color looks like poison and I probably screwed up and it tastes like shi- crap.”  
He fastly corrects himself. A habit he got while hanging out with Peter. 

“But the thing is, I didn’t want to eat it, I never meant to eat it. It’s your birthday, so you should be the first one to actually taste it and tell me how awful it tastes and all that but since you are not here, it will stand there, in the kitchen until dum-e accidentally throws it on the floor.”  
Dum-E reminds him just so much of Peter, so clumsy.

“And I do have a present for you too. First of all, I bought a Lego store here in queens and now you are the rightful owner of it, so basically everything in there is yours, such as the Starwars stuff. And then I found a foundation, the ‘Peter Parker Fondation’, yes I’ve always been uncreative, I m sorry, but the foundation will give homeless people accommodation and food. Thanks to you.”  
He continues proud, but with a sad undertone.

“You opened my eyes, Pete. I never realized that homelessness is an actual problem until- you. And till this day I feel guilty. I feel so guilty for everything that happened to you, that I didn’t notice until it was too late..”

A few more tears are falling down his pale skin now, and for a moment he stops, not sure if he should continue. It just hurts so much to think and talk about it.

“I still remember the day I found out that May had died months ago and that meant that you had nobody and were always only doing like you would be all good but- you were homeless, Pete. 

How could you not tell me this, you know I would have taken you without any question. 

I would have adopted you, I would have given you an own room in the Avengers Tower, even next to me and you would have worked with me in the lab every day, 24/7. But it s too late now, and it was too late when I found out. 

I searched you all day long and then I heard from a woman how some boy was shot protecting her. And that moment my heart stopped beating and it doesn’t till this very day because I knew it was you.”

He falls to his knees, full of pain. Head in his hands.

“You are the most selfless person I have ever known and you are the hero Peter, not Spiderman. 

You always protected everybody around you, even people you didn’t know, you protected everybody except yourself, and that is- was your biggest problem, kid. 

Your heart was bigger than your brain so you have been a hero before you became one. And I’m so sorry kid, so sorry I couldn’t protect you, I promised you, I promised it you the very first day we met. 

At your Appartement. But you didn’t hear it, because I didn’t say it out loud, because I didn’t want the others to find out that I have a heart and am not the strong guy I always act to be, because I’m selfish, Peter. 

I was and I am so selfish for taking you to Germany, taking a kid, a 15-years old kid, whose voice was still cracking and who apologized to people if they stepped on his foot, to Germany to fight another man’s fight. 

I took you because unlike me, you are a good person with a big heart who did more for other people than you could have possibly done for yourself and you always made the right decisions. Always. So I needed you in Germany, because.. honestly, I wasn’t sure if I was doing the right thing by fighting Rogers, maybe he was right and I just didn’t know it. 

I needed you, I needed you to tell me what to do because you knew, you always knew what was right and what wasn’t, you were my kid. 

And I knew we had a connection the first time we met, two geniuses with hilarious characters, the most perfect duo, and till this day I haven’t seen a duo as good as we were. 

Kid, it s your 18th birthday! It s one of the most exciting days in somebody’s life, except 21st birthday, I mean by law you are allowed to drink then!! Not that I would have allowed you to.. but that’s now what I want to say. You are not here to celebrate and you probably won’t hear what I’m telling you.. but 

I love you kid. I love you so much. You were my North Star. You always showed me a way and I always followed because it was always the right one. 

The North star, Peter Parker, one of the brightest stars, you shined in my darkest nights, you showed me the right way and helped me survive, but even the brightest stars stop shining someday, someday they die, but your someday shouldn’t have been then, it shouldn’t have been so early. 

And I need you, because without you, my nights are darker than they have ever been before, and I miss you. 

I miss you so much. I miss your laugh, I miss your dumb comments about the music that I listen to, i miss your annoying pranks, I miss being a parent. 

I miss being your parent.

Peter, kid, I m so sorry, I could have done better, I should have, but I didn’t.”

He stands up, wiping the tears of his cheek with his hand and making a step backwards. This, everything, how long can he keep doing this. It hurts so much.

_“Happy birthday”_

**Author's Note:**

> I´m not English, so I´m sorry if there are some grammar mistakes. But I hope you liked it!!  
Have a good day ;)


End file.
